OR YOU’LL NEED TO TAKE OUT A SECOND MORGAGE FOR THIS SAD SHOW
I really don’t know why I bothered apart from the excitement of a new city found up the road from Calakmul and Xpujil called Valeriana. Literally I thought that people would be able to amble in and I vaguely remembered security being lax around most sites, but more importantly there being a few gates of access. Not just the one.
By the way I’ve thrown in some random vids because I was aware of the rather negative content he he.
Things seemed so groovy and casual back in the day in Mexicos Yucatan and now it’s turned into little America but with military presence everywhere. It’s tragic how history repeats itself and the Latin Mexicans are busy victimising the indigenous groups and destroying just a little more of their homeland and also smashing down huge swathes of virgin jungle. Ooh the new president Claudia Sheinbaum, she’s so cool and green, although she’s not though is she?
Anyhoo, it would seem that the relationship with America will now be a sore topic so I doubt she will be giving any thought at all to other issues apart from building camps for the huge amount of deported Mexicans that are being deported. I suppose it will be ‘watch this space’ as to their policies with the States go from now on.
Calakmul. IN 2021 ALL CLOSED UP AFTER THEY LURE YOU IN.
The brief mention given in 21.
“This is another example of closed sections at famous pyramids. Another scam in times of ‘plague
Long heralded a superior site in the Mayan world I was again disappointed. The Grand Acropolis was closed. I only found out from a young guide after going around the pyramid square which also houses many stelae but in poor condition. When I asked the young guide kinda chap he started to walk with me. I must admit my hackles raised a bit for I could see hardcore money push happening. Anyhow long story short he told me it was bloody closed which again they had failed to mention at the ticket desk. I don’t care to climb fucking dangerous pyramids thank you very much which is all the younger generations want to do, which is fine it’s just not for me. I have terrible vertigo and once climbed a very high temple in Cambodia with high very thin steps. On reaching the top I decided I could never go down again. I nearly puked looking at the climb down. I would just live on top until they could send a helicopter for me. I would lie on the floor and refuse to move. I would scream if anyone touched me to cajole me down that slippery awful stairway. My freak out was allayed when I was told that there was a rope bannister on the other side by a kindly person who saw me whimpering and ashen-faced. I managed my way down the other side eternally grateful and swore that I would never be so stupid again. I have been of course. The only time I climbed a very tall pyramid was at Tikal where they have very sensible wooden staircases zigzagging their way up to the top and once there the view indeed is magnificent. Above the forest canopy, you can understand their ethos at being connected to the sky and their gods. However, once you’ve done it once and perfectly at Tikal you really don’t have anything more to see so it’s all a bit silly for someone like me.
Anyhoo, when this chap asked me if I wanted to sneak in and see the Acropolis I just didn’t feel for it. I had my car waiting and I didn’t even want to ask how much this secret tour would cost. In retrospect, I should have done and indeed someone said later that he always had chats with the lesser on-site guides and apparently some secret code is to keep saying how you would love to see it while putting your hand to your heart then you make a deal but like I said I felt grumpy and done with this fucking place that was reminding me of Palenque and indeed Uxmal. I don’t care for being herded and denied access to all the best bits of these famous sites. So I left just taking pics of the mock-up of a temple front some photos of the promised painted murals and reconstructed stelae all conveniently by the ladies’ bogs. I sulkily went back to my car, the driver expected me to be euphoric, I explained what had happened and how none of the good gear was to be seen. So off we went to Balamku after a quick squabble about prices and time and persuasion on my part that I would use him the following day, he took me to this lesser site which was such a treat.”
This was all I wrote about it. I searched everywhere but no, the strict 2021 version of myself would NOT even entertain a few paragraphs. I’ll feed you more this time but beware the 2024 version of myself is a harsh taskmaster and was indignant this time round too. In fact there’s more to be furiously angry about now as they fleece you three times for tickets and that doesn’t even include tour transport.
Here’s the thing. Mexico is for the most part ruined, and it’s run by incompetent nincompoops of the highest order, who are lying and cheating much like the rest of the world now. Their eccentricities are now out and out fraudulent theft and intimidation and it’s a crying shame.
CALAKMUL IN 24, MORE FOOLISHNESS NOW DUE TO TREN MAYA.
Well it seems the Mexican authorities are pretty good with fences and herding people under duress to designated zones. I don’t know what you’ve all been banging on about. No, no, I won’t have a word said against them. Whoosh they can sweep away all undesirables and wham they can entrap their huge number of captive tourists through three separate gates of extortion. They have became very good at it and even have mobilised their military and police so you can feel really scared most of the time when attempting a small excursion to their famous sites. Pah, the Egyptians aren’t nearly as good at ruining your experience. I was disgusted at this new cynical behaviour, especially after the lovely ruins I had visited in the previous days.
It’s lucky that I’m coming up to my fabulous Homun experience or you’d think I had nothing good to say about it this time round in Mexico, and that’s not fair, it still has a wealth of magnificent things to do it’s just not quite so easy finding them as before. Bite the bullet for, this my old birds, is the last bitter and twisted post that would put you off travelling forever if you didn’t know me better! Hooray you say, she’s not going to be mean and crush our dreams anymore? Well I won’t my dears after this last spew of venom.
I got up at five for this particular treat and left at six with my water and bag of cut up fruit that I had made the day before. I was bright eyed with the anticipation upon boarding the small collectivo, like a child on a school trip. Upon meeting the other grim sleep deprived gang that we picked up on the way I still wasn’t daunted. This would soon be a rude awakening to the horror of this outing.
The drive alongside the half finished trainline takes an eternity and then when you get to the massive bridge over what will be a station you get a perfect view of the carnage of the land in both directions. You weep a little over that and the displaced communities and animal territories and cough a little as you climb out of the car in a storm of white dust at your first ticket office. On the tatty price sheet shows you each part of your itemised daylight robbery, this you will have to pay at this external ‘office’. You pay and thank the brusque robbers for taking their first payment. You don’t realise that they will rape you financially again two more times until you have paid a token towards everything they can possibly imagine, even a maiden aunts hip operation possibly. Then bedecked with tickets and bracelets and a dirty feeling of having been abused, you finally get in. You will need the toilet after all that queuing and you’ll have to queue for that too. This shave s precious minutes off the time you have been allocated by your driver. Then you must run along without actually knowing where you are and what is the best route for your three hours there (just getting to the centre main acropolis and the return eats up nearly an hour) . The swanky final office offers no pamphlets with maps. I had no data so I couldn’t even download anything and inside there is no internet so you’re screwed anyway unless you’re a clever dick and come with super sophisticated route maps. ( one guy said they had still managed going round in circles.)
You ask other people and they are loath to help as they too are running to squeeze in the fun with sheer panic on their shiny faces. They don’t want to waste their time or if they do they may it really complicated for their schedule. You follow the very sparse signs when you finally find one (then you weep with relief) To make it worse there are three routes, if you turn off on the wrong one its like ten kilometres scenic route and no escape. The other two are bizarre and turn in on themselves. All the pyramids look big and green and slimy and all the stellae are so damaged by the wet atmosphere that not images are visible on them anyway. It matters not that the signs say what each one was for or the dignitary it was erected for, they look like craterous wrecks that might as well have said toilets, or exit before. You have an uneasy feeling that it’s a load of bullshit and the good stuff is in a museum or private collection, and you would be right. These are just lumps of corroded limestone These sites are just for the gormless pyramid climbers and these sites are just adventure playgrounds for the people who’d do just as well with a big bouncy castle. No one gives a shit about the history. I would recommend going to Tikal instead it’s much more exciting and they beat Calakmul most of the time in their wars anyway.
So what do we take from this? Back in the day Calakmul was a big deal and it has a lot of big stone mounds which were really hard to do and showed they were very rich and powerful. When it finally collapsed all the good stuff was finally removed and placed in safety and a few historians tried their best to make head or tail of the whole venture with practically nothing to go on. Then they made up stuff because initially the looters that had been there first also had a religious agenda so burnt any historical documents that they could lay their hands on so the dirty indigenous heathens would never have their story told. Then they stole stuff and more people came along and stole the stuff left behind and well there was nothing left but they saw they could squeeze more money from it by turning it into an adventure park. The end.
The absolute best bit was that we were treated to an epic example of a howler monkey troupe going bananas. I was in the right place at the right time and witnessed these bad boys relatively close to me. I have heard them many times at many places in the jungle but this time I had a really good view. I will download the vid for you
Needless to say the French couple who acted flash had been caught out by the long route and had missed most of it and had to run back, they were twenty minutes late and much eye rolling was done by those of us prompt and virtuous. I got the driver to drop me at what I call the American bar when we finally got back so I could knock back a few cocktails while the sun was going down at my dusty table by the motorway. Lovely mojitos on the motorway covered in white powder.
Old Bird Travels Solo! 