LIMA DISAPPOINTS.

OR HOW PERU DEMANDS YOU SHOW YOU’LL LEAVE BEFORE YOU ARRIVE!

Shurely not!!

The flight with VivaAir had been cheap and was direct from Medellin but here ended the benefits. A whopping 50 quid was added to my bill for my case and the vile young man with braces and spots simpered about that, then relished telling me that I couldn’t enter Peru without an outbound ticket to another country. The weak WiFi in the airport threatened to make me miss the flight as I desperately tried to book a flight on a random date to bloody Bolivia. I was trying on both my iPad and my phone to see which would be the fastest picking up a signal. Spotty boy smirking made me determined and I managed to book my passage to La Paz AND pay my excess baggage with minutes to spare.

Ten minutes of nearly sunshine at another hugely expensive café.

Long story short, the plane was half empty and when I asked the cabin crew if I could change seats after taking off they also smirked (an unpleasant prerequisite of working with Viva Air it would seem) and said that there was a charge for that also. Luckily a German couple said that you just change seats without saying anything and I did, to the empty one by the window, in a long row of empty seats.

I felt like this!

My entry was ok after I had fretted all the way about immigration asking me for proof of exit. The whole thing had been a fiasco and Mr customs man just asked me how long I was stopping for and smiled at me and said “have a lovely time Rebecca” (a bit forward I felt) ATM successfully negociated I left the airport confident at last until I was soundly ripped off by the cab driver and arrived at my dingy suicidal hotel.

GOLD MUSEUM

Gold funerary mask Gold Museum Lima.

After the resplendent one in Bogota this was a somewhat tired affair in the basement. The ground floor held armoury from over the world, not my thing AT ALL! Anyway here are some pics.

Lima, I’ve found out now, is known as the grey city. This is not a misnomer, It’s grey and has very little to offer. The archaeological museum that I had been so excited to go to was closed bar a few rooms and the Gold Museum there was a huge let-down after the magnificence of Bogotas incredible show. It was all so lame and dowdy and lacklustre and hadn’t been dusted down for years. Best bit was the mummies.

They’re still waiting for Lima to regenerate.

HUACA PUCILIANA.

An amazing relic of an Inca complex which shows how the layered the mud bricks to be relatively pliable in case of earthquakes. It looks remarkably like a huge corrugated cardboard model.

Corrugated cardboard?
Shurely not? Terrible dummies chucked amongst the dreadful displays at the Huaca Puciliana.
Gratuitous llama at Huaca.

GALERIA ENLACE ARTE CONTEMPORANIO.

I KNOW THAT FEELING!

LORCA MUSEUM.

Erotica section at Lorca Museum.

If you’re there the only jewel in the crown is the Lorca museum. Excellent and took away the bad taste I had from all the other dreary disappointments. Have a bash with the Modern Art Galleries too which are in the posher part of Miraflores where some prettier buildings are too.

Beautiful inlaid earrings.

Another hideous incident was my bank card being blocked as I was merrily ready to leave my dingy hotel for the airport. Half an hour on the phone to London to resolve it. Security questions forgotten I was passed from pillar to post, in my anxiety I had frozen and didn’t have vital info to hand. It had been made worse by my being cut of by some German sounding woman after I had gone through the waiting game and worryingly muffled hold musak. When I called back again I had beautiful crisp British voices to nurse me through the harrowing experience of security when you’re an idiot like me shrieking ” I’m going to miss my plane why have you done this to me?” I got through it but I was ready to have to cancel everything and come home with my tail between my legs. So.….

TOP TIP: Be totally prepared for the worst and have all your passwords and security checks vaulted on your devices. Don’t be a moron like me and have this nearly ruin EVERYTHING. I always leave loads of time when checking out and going to the airport, and this saved my bacon this time round. I had nearly used the last of my cash paying my hotel bill and changed my mind to pay by card thus discovering my card block. Very close shave, dimwit Rebecca.

Lovely Avianco didn’t fuss about my luggage and my trip to Cusco, albeit quite bumpy,was glorious.

I am safely and happily ensconced in my lovely Cusco, so don’t fret will stop moaning after this post which really does show how you have to travel thinking on your feet at times. I’ve told you on my site you will learn by my mistakes so you don’t have to, well here is a catalogue of them!

OVER AND OUT FROM REBECCA THE DUMMY.

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ARTWORK WEBSITES:

www.rtpots.com      www.art-with-attitude.co.uk

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