Now folks, for the last twelve years I have been alcohol and cigarette-free for at least the first forty days of the year. I don’t celebrate New Year which I find a somewhat tawdry event and an overkill after Xmas. I can’t think of a worse way to start the year than with a hangover, bloated and foul breathed, exhausted and with a parrot definitely still residing in your mouth. This is not a sign of a great start because I’m very anal about starting my new regime on time.

Oxford Street New Years Day

This year, (if you believe it’s really the start of the year which actually should be March 20th) I jumped out of my bed that I had put fresh sheets on the night before, put on a lavender aromatherapy diffuser in my bedroom and a basil and cinnamon one in my front room and sat with a tea doing the crosswords, then showered and dressed warmly for the park.

It was a bloody beautiful day and I was blessed with it and the mellow weather and blue skies. There were very few people there and I felt the place to be more or less my own. I found my spot overlooking the Serpentine and took off my shoes and socks and commenced my very gentle Qigong and Yoga practice. Although my ribs were no longer agony and I had taken two strong painkillers from the doc, I was still aware not to push it too much. (Having said that I couldn’t resist a couple of downward dogs) Then I walked barefoot in the park. I soaked up the good energy from the earth and I was one with nature and felt the good vibrations.

Barefoot in the park

When I came back I cleared the fridge and freezer. Now it doesn’t sound much but I’m afraid that I haven’t cleaned my freezer since I bought it and when it smells a bit I just put coffee grind pouches from my coffee machine, this is a wonder, and allows a rather disinterested old bird to ignore her rather slovenly ways. Now, however, I was ready for stocking up from the farmers market. This New Year I intend to go completely organic, and free-range for the small amount of meat I intend to consume. I was giddy with my newly found purity.

Farmer’s market protein, fowl and eggs are all free-range and organic.

I am happy to report that I have not wavered. My warrior woman attitude is still shining through and I have been busy trying to make up for the lost time over Xmas and with my injuries. I didn’t go to the doctor or hospital at all and only called up for the painkillers. This proves to me that in an emergency I can keep a cool head and treat myself at home. If, in a situation of living off-grid, I could cope with dodgy stuff that comes up. If things are to get any worse (which I don’t think they will now) I will go to Bulgaria may be, and find a small property to hunker down and grow my own food and have a small studio on the side. I feel no fear it’ll just be like travelling solo with a twist.


So there has been a lot of clucking around my nest and purchasing healthy foods and supplements. My suspicion about everything these days has been well-founded, you all must start reading the labels, you’ll be horrified to see the poisonous muck they put in stuff these days.

Bought books!

The day after I went to the library and got out a bunch of books to start reading again. I have nutrition books, soup diet books (I’m a little porky after lolling on the sofa for weeks with my dislocated knee and then after my cracked ribs) I got survival books and bought myself a swiss army knife and whistles, portable solar panels and a whole other load of small gear for the moment. Then books on vegetable and fruit growing as a refresher course. The foreign travel book was for South Africa which is my next hopeful adventure fingers crossed. I got books on walks around England and an ordinance survey map of Bodwin moor. I also got a bunch of fiction and finally with a sigh squidged it all in my rucksack and heaved it onto my shoulders instantly regretting my greed, the bag was bloody heavy. I then when to Chinatown and picked up my fresh ginger and some weird and wonderful exotic shit.

Each day has been a new adventure into a little body and soul maintenance, a little learning and a little research for my next trip. I am starting to rebuild the muscles I had before my accidents and have started to shed the weight.

More importantly, I feel fabulous. I am bright and fresh and optimistic, all brain fog has disappeared and my skin and hair are back in tiptop form. I haven’t even had a snotty cold that other people have picked up and I believe it’s from my new diet, my supplements, exercise and of course not drinking or smoking. I sound smug and indeed I am. I’m unbearable but I tell you one thing I’m the only person in the street not looking glum and with a big smile on my face.


The other massive improvement I made this year was to go back to my ophthalmologist and check why one eye had gone blurry.

Top tip: Don’t leave problems like this to get worse and for you to fret and worry about. Any health issues wherever you are in the world need addressing if you clearly can’t do your own treatment. Any old birds out there who are dependent on reading glasses should consider this procedure. As I say it’s changed my life, and clearly if there is any tweaking to be done I am proof that it’s fine. It’s so valuable to see clearly, why wouldn’t you do it?!

For those who don’t know I am part robot. A few years back my eyesight for close up had deteriorated to such a degree I could barely see anything without reading glasses on. This was frightening and very inconvenient. My life is travelling and art, and fucking around with glasses on and off like a looney is horrible. I was suffering for a while until I decided to go to a specialist in Harley Street and there I received my wonderful news that I could be fixed. I was ecstatic. This great news did come with the negative side, I would need to have artificial lenses.

Taj Majal in my eye before and now an artificial lens!

The procedure is elaborate and alarming. They need to inject your eye and dissolve your natural cloudy buggered up lens, and then inject a specially crafted one for your exact needs. They do this by injecting a furled up lens in the lens sac which sort of unrolls when inside. This has to be done while you are awake as they instruct you as to what to do and what they are doing while the procedure drags on for around fifteen minutes. I had to convince them that a bucketful of valium wouldn’t even touch the sides for this coward and I certainly wouldn’t fall asleep in the chair.

It’s all very posh and you have a room worthy of a five-star hotel to “relax” in and get into your gown etc. Then the terrible wait.

I didn’t scream and get dragged from my false security room but I wanted to. The process is surreal as they flood your eye while doing it and alien lights shine through, but it eventually is done and you are taken back to your room and given four sets of eye drops and instructions on how and when to take them. They then asked me what sandwiches I wanted? My tight smile indicated my desperation to get out and I declined. Back home I started my regime, my instructions and little bottles of drops on the table like little soldiers.

Zen in Thailand

By the third day, I suddenly realised I was reading my list without putting on my glasses albeit just through my new robot eye. I danced around the kitchen then had a quick look in the bathroom mirror, I could see it now glinting back at me as if winking.

The next week I repeated the performance for the other eye. I was still cowardly and snivelling but ploughed through it. In a few days, I had twenty twenty vision and threw away the mountain of pound shop reading glasses.

It was like being in a new world. All was crystal clear and I felt reborn. My twinkly bright little reflections from my artificial lenses were the only reminder I had about my ordeal of losing my sight. I have been whizzing around the world like a young chick carefree and vibrant. it changes how you feel about yourself, you are no longer a granny perching those fucking glasses on your nose, but a free, independent, fabulous person.

Well, as I said all that changed. In October I started getting fuzzy in one eye so had to go back in. As it transpired all was well again I just needed some laser zapping and this is why.

Shield Maiden of England was designed by my brother.

Our wonderful bodies take umbrage from time to time with such indignity being forced upon them and mine had of course been obstreperous. The stem cells had decided to grow me a new lens! The blueprint, as the surgeon explained was just a little off and rather late in the days, my newly growing lens was causing the problems and had to be removed with a laser which was easy peasy even though I didn’t sleep a wink the night before……

I’m back with my good vision again except for the little floaters which will go in a few days that I keep mistaking for fruit flies and go grabbing for them like a crazy woman. All is well now and I’m zooming through my books.

Beetroot salmon. Food for your eyes.

Life is indeed wonderful but you have to grab it by the horns and reassess from time to time. It means taking control and knowing you are your own master and nobody can take that away from you. I love you all stay strong and healthy for this year and turn off the TV so you won’t be living in fear from the propaganda and lies. Just get ready to travel like I am, as I said life is wonderful.


My art can be found at: and this will link you to my other site about my previous life and careers!