OR THIS OLD BIRD HAS YET ANOTHER DISLOCATED KNEE.
As my ethos of older women travelling alone please click here

Alert: Yes, I have been AWOL and yes for good reason. An old knee injury has been aggravated and it’s back to self care and healing, leading onto home physio. Here I can show you that there is no need to panic. You can deal with these injuries alone or even when travelling. (see Punta Allen Paradise and Travelling in Mexico with a broken foot) Trust me I am an accident prone person and have been all my life but these things don’t need to freak you at home or whilst travelling.
Just over two weeks ago I woke up in a fabulous mood having had a decent kip for a change. I yawned and stretched and flicked my legs in the air and to my right to land springily and enthusiastically to great the wonderful new day ahead of me.

Only that “leap of faith” never was completed as a nasty cracking noise along with some twisting of tendons and ligaments to accommodate my knee dislocating as it slid from the meniscus. How would I know this I hear you say? I know this because of the excruciating pain I felt that was exactly the same as I felt five years ago when I did flicky leg thing again and ended up having a knee operation to repair a torn meniscus.
I had ‘flickily’ ruined the good results my operation of many moons ago, and I knew it as, in the slow motion, I returned my legs to bed in a very bent position. As I sobbed I tried in vain to relocate my bone by pressing it firmly (while screaming) back to where it should be, but to no avail (I do this on a regular basis with the other knee. It goes back in with a sickening thud) This clearly was a disaster and there is nothing to be done than rest it and keep it bent for a couple of weeks. I’m proud to tell you, I panicked not but just did a quick mental plan of how to reach my painkillers which were downstairs in the bathroom.

I could remember of old, that I had had crutches before which they unceremoniously kicked me out of the hospital with in the pissing rain the previous time. I had been rescued with an ambulance on a terrible Sunday. I could remember barely making it home with no help and no money. I remember a cab driver being very reluctant to stop at an ATM because ‘everyone runs away’ (how the fuck was a drowned rat of a woman on crutches going to do that ffs) and I can remember having to go on my bum up and down the stairs.
The seering pain from this type of injury cannot be explained unless you have experienced it but it’s definitely up there with child bearing. I gritted my teeth and toe to floor and both legs bent to accommodate the hellish pain I was in, I chimpanzeed and grasped my way to the top of the stairs and the bannister. Getting down on my bottom seemed more dangerous than attempting monkey walk so I hobbled downstairs with much whimpering and a shooting pain happening in all directions.

Top tip: After my previous experience I knew the routine. Bent leg raised on the sofa and ice wrapped in flannels held on with a support bandage. These you move around every twenty minutes. I have a midriff support bandage which I found better as you can wrap it around a couple of times. If you’re alone like me you should remember to have all your supplies on the coffee table next to you especially for first few days when you really won’t want to keep getting up for water snacks and books.
In a bizarre way I had already made an appointment with my doc a couple of days later (how fortuitous in this day and age they are rarer than hens teeth) so I was very dubious about getting there even though it’s only round the corner. Like with lots of things yes you can do it and stop being a scaredy cat. My doctor glimped fleetingly at my knee and agreed in my resting diagnosis, she knows what I’m like so was as casual as me when I dropped my trousers and showed her my swollen knee all round ‘yes yes sofa good’ then we went onto my real reason for being there.

I have been in very poor shape for a couple of weeks but impatiently felt I might risk itprobably far too soon, to start all my shenanigans again. Going on two demos and visiting my brother in Sevenoaks twice along with other excursions probably hasn’t helped but I feel I’m nearly there. I was a little concerned that it wasn’t straightening and I’d have to monkey walk or the very least Long John Silver it for the rest of my life but it seems my stretching and weird things I think up to strengthen it have finally got it to a less bendy place.

All I can say is thank god that I take Chondroitin, Glucosamine and MSM along with another shit load of supplements or things would have been so much worse this time and all the other times that I have crashed and bashed around, or indeed just flicked my legs in that dangerous way.

So to all you, not so frail, old birds, don’t let fear get to you, be bold and brave and you will be fine. Like I’ve told you before health, health, health. Keep on top of any yoga, pilates Qigong or weights routine and, what I am planning to start, self defence classes. Take and research supplements, eat beautifully (I staggered to the farmers market wildly last Sunday to get my organic free range goods) and be wildly happy and excited about each day even if from time to time you get a little too excited.