OR SOCIAL PARIAH WITH MAD EYES SCARES FRIENDS.
As anyone who’s had to “rest up” after an injury knows, it’s not all the fun it’s cracked up to be.

Although I have ventured out of my den for essentials, I’ve tried to be good as I have my second Xray on Xmas Eve. I don’t want it to show it’s not mending . I want it to be well on the way to prove to that bloody rude nurse in A&E that I don’t need a boot and to inject myself in the stomach with blood thinners every day. I CAN JUST REST AND TAKE SOME HIGH QUALITY MINERALS AND SUPPLEMENTS and I know my own body very well thank you very much!

You would think that this would be the perfect time to read, write, and do sitting down pro active stuff, but no, it’s the perfect time to sulk and fret and scorn your laptop and considerable library, and just watch the bloody TV. Boxsets preferably and with many cups of tea and sweeties. Then when really down with it all, hit the bottle and whine petulantly to a friend who innocently thought they were pop in to visit a mate for a quick Xmas drink. Of course once collared the hapless creature is pinned down and placed firmly at the end of the sofa for a much longer duration than expected. With increasingly haunted faces and furtive looks at the door wondering if they can do a runner they sit patiently waiting for their opportunity to escape. Of course I show them no mercy.

This year no decorations no nuffink I’m hunkering down with my delivery from good old John Lewis Food Hall (shurely some mistake editor? No Harrods?)

I am no good at staying still I never have been. I want to be active all day and absorb information, art, tastes and smells, new stuff. I suppose that’s why I love to travel. Indeed I’m very hard on myself creating strict itineraries each day and rushing around like a roadrunner on speed. “This time on the sofa should have been productive” I whimper self pityingly as I reach for the remote control.

OVER AND OUT FROM AN OLD BIRD WHOSE WINGS HAVE BEEN CLIPPED.