Staying fit and healthy to enjoy your adventures fully.
I whimpered and white-knuckled the seat. I should have missed this flight and stayed in Hong Kong for fuck’s sake. I shouldn’t have been so obvious about how I hated their dictatorship I snivelled. I made a lot of promises in that ten minutes but hey, that’s what an atheist does when praying.
ABSOLUTE POWER CORRUPTS ABSOLUTELY.
OR I FINALLY MADE IT TO THE LONGEST GRAVEYARD IN THE WORLD!
Stirring from my uneasy sleep in my hovel I immediately started fretting about my MSS (Ministry of State Security, their Secret Service) ‘guide’ (I know you’re all snickering behind your hands about me being paranoid but I’m pretty sure I’m right) I dressed and had their hideous offering of breakfast then waited for her to turn up. She was late and I started freaking, because that’s what you do there, panic and be suspicious, but she showed up and when I asked to see her certificate she went shady. We went off and I had a strong feeling I was being abducted not going on a tour of the Great Wall. She started going onto this weird state sanctioned rant. She suddenly didn’t speak English when I asked her questions. She refused to go off piste with my wanting to talk about alternative subjects. Yes I know that she too could be scared but my story is better.
Time to open up shop again if indeed we don’t have a new surge?
TOP TIP: My habit of always putting “old town or historic centre” had bitten me in the arse a few times. This terminology, “Historic centre”, includes and means a place where you will be raped and murdered in an alley and have everything stolen off your still warm corpse, but it also has a lovely church.
Alert: This is from a page on my site with bits added. It’s to get you old girls prepped up for colder trips when the travelling will have become a lot laxer again hopefully. Until then get yourself ready and take note from this post the way to approach any cold trip. There are links all the way through to help a bit
Hurry up! It’s soon time for your Nippy Trip……
GET READY TO SPREAD YOUR WINGS AGAIN. BEFORE YOU KNOW IT WE WILL BE TRAVELLING AGAIN. STRENGTH MY FRIENDS!
Winnie the Poo is banned for fucks sake.
OR THIS IS ON MY MAIN SITE WHICH NAUGHTY OLD BIRDS ARE NOT READING. BAD BAD BIRDIES. I’VE ADDED SOME BITS, BUT THIS IS THE GENERAL IDEA FOR THOSE HOT WET TRIPS!!
Alert: In preparation for us escaping and flying free again.
Down and dirty at the beach. Swimming, snorkelling, diving, boogie boarding or just plain sunbathing? Onboard a boat for some fishing as well? Climbing and trekking around the coastline? Gazing out to sea? Breath in that air and get ready for your wet bits!
As awful as my train arrival (initiation by fire) had been and my crying into my t-shirt covered filthy pillow the previous night, nothing could have prepared me for the onslaught of rabid Chinese tourists and misery of the Forbidden City. (
Old Bird Travels Solo! 