OR I FINALLY MADE IT TO THE LONGEST GRAVEYARD IN THE WORLD!
Stirring from my uneasy sleep in my hovel I immediately started fretting about my MSS (Ministry of State Security, their Secret Service) ‘guide’ (I know you’re all snickering behind your hands about me being paranoid but I’m pretty sure I’m right) I dressed and had their hideous offering of breakfast then waited for her to turn up. She was late and I started freaking, because that’s what you do there, panic and be suspicious, but she showed up and when I asked to see her certificate she went shady. We went off and I had a strong feeling I was being abducted not going on a tour of the Great Wall. She started going onto this weird state sanctioned rant. She suddenly didn’t speak English when I asked her questions. She refused to go off piste with my wanting to talk about alternative subjects. Yes I know that she too could be scared but my story is better.