ABSOLUTE POWER CORRUPTS ABSOLUTELY.
ABSOLUTE POWER CORRUPTS ABSOLUTELY.
OR I FINALLY MADE IT TO THE LONGEST GRAVEYARD IN THE WORLD!

Stirring from my uneasy sleep in my hovel I immediately started fretting about my MSS (Ministry of State Security, their Secret Service) ‘guide’ (I know you’re all snickering behind your hands about me being paranoid but I’m pretty sure I’m right) I dressed and had their hideous offering of breakfast then waited for her to turn up. She was late and I started freaking, because that’s what you do there, panic and be suspicious, but she showed up and when I asked to see her certificate she went shady. We went off and I had a strong feeling I was being abducted not going on a tour of the Great Wall. She started going onto this weird state sanctioned rant. She suddenly didn’t speak English when I asked her questions. She refused to go off piste with my wanting to talk about alternative subjects. Yes I know that she too could be scared but my story is better.
OR HOW TO APPROACH THE DREADED GYM.
I’m going to say this once and once only. You have to be fit for travel at any age but it’s VITAL as you get older. I sin in many ways, and love it, I do, but on returning to London I get back in the gym and always find it easier than I thought and the buzz after doing exercise is euphoric. It removes the winter blues even when you walk back home after in the pouring rain. It makes you feel, erm, smug and self-righteous. Nothing wrong with that old birds, nothing. I intend to do this till I’m at least 80!

Or infinity pools in heaven.
Alert: this was posted ages ago but now fits in sequentially and bears a second look at. I am updating it as I was in a rush before and this place would go on my top 10 list of places to go in the world!

OR HOW I STAGGERED ON FOR ANOTHER INSANE MONTH ON A BROKEN FOOT AND MASHED ANKLE.

ALERT: there is a lot of shouty sweary bits in this post so not for people who disapprove of foul language and indeed a potty mouth to end all potty mouths.
So, my friends the answer is this. NEVER TRAVEL ON THE CHEAPER VERSIONS OF THIS MODE OF TRANSPORT!
OR HAND MADE COCKTAILS ON BOARD CHOO CHOO!!!