Hello my old birds, my darlings, just a quick one about peace and love and meditation.
I’ve had a chance to get back to a more stable state of mind instead of being frenetic and panicky, I’m not quite sure how it happened, but I made a breakthrough today.
A portal into good mental health and heaven?
I have been getting back involved into being more kind to myself. It sounds simple but in fact it’s really hard. When one is used to being and having an over active brain then this process seems far away, and indeed, not really desirable.
Wakey, wakey! Morning everyone! Well it is morning that’s for sure and I’m off to the gym, spa and yoga before lunchtime concert at the reference library, my temple now, my sacrosanct place of quiet and reflection. So without further ado off I trot with my new healthy lifestyle and philosophy.
Confucius He Say…..
After my previous months of confusion it’s more Confucius now, so it’s “Wheresoever you go, go with all your heart.” This was really my philosophy on my travels before but I lost essence of this by somewhat sneering at the small things, the small journeys and now I’m becoming humble again. In the quietening of my impatient brain I also had to remind myself ,“It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.” I indeed have now accepted this so am learning from my tortuous sudden change in my life of speeding along maniacally. From my disappointment in not being able to achieve moving from London and its seemingly insurmountable obstacles in creating a new wild life in so much as a life in the wild it’s been more of a practical “The [wo]man who moves a mountain begins by carrying away small stones” (surely learnt that in my garden in Turkiye.) And “If you make a mistake and do not correct it, this is called a mistake” I now do not just ignore my fuckups but go about trying to fix them. When whizzing about you can all too easily ignore your foolishness and stubbornly not really learn from it. And remember “The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor the man perfected without trials.” Yeah, I think we all have the hang of that one my darling old birds et al.
OR, HARD GRAFT WITH HOME REPAIRS BEFORE MY NEXT TRIP.
ALERT: The flat is now finished and all is well for this old bird! I wrote this a couple of weeks back when I was very boohoo baby. I painted anything in my way that didn’t actually move refreshed everything and threw away most of my possessions. in a couple of weeks I should be back to telling you about the latest on actual travel rather than snivelling. As they say it’s all character forming……or just plain bad Karma!
Yes I’ve been AWOL, I’ve managed to fall off grid totally by accident or rather by despair. This is why.
Lack of funds, government applications to save my sorry arse and delayed building works forced my hand to stay here. The shocking fact of my allowance being cut off by the ex last year, on the same birthday as my retirement year so had been bought to earth with a resounding crash by trying to live on the minimum state pension. I was suddenly a pensioner and it was very cold and I was trapped with no studio and hence no way of making my art and thus money. My darling ex had encouraged me to spend all my own money while travelling and then quite suddenly completely dump me without explanation. I’m still punch drunk from the shock.
The last months have been tortuous. Clipped wing syndrome, while ironically my windows are ripped out, and my meagre possessions in disarray. scaffolding stealing what little light that is still available to us, and decorating my ever decreasing butt off, I’m silently seething that I, a freedom loving old bird, have been caught in this hellish trap. I feel like I should have seen it coming but how could I while star struck by the old garden and house wreck that was going to be my paradise. I was blind and a fool for not noticing .
Looking through my huge archive of photos today in the reference library, I saw that I had neglected connecting all the animals I had rubbed shoulders with on my travels around the world. I feel I need to correct this seeing as animals are my favourite things.
ELEPHANT SANCTUARY THAILAND, CHIANG MAI.
Jokey baby elephant and guides
Let’s face it animals are part of every aspect of our lives The good, bad and ugly. They feature in religions past and present, they live with us, they entertain and fascinate us, and we eat them. I don’t want to get embroiled here on how much modern humans abuse them rather than revere them, that’s for another time. I just want to casually look over some of my encounters to remind us why we yearn to be on the move and experience the mundane and exotic.
OR, TRAVELLING WITH MY NEW RAILCARD, BEING ANCIENT HAS SOME COMPENSATIONS. I have been missing as I’ve been working on the farmyard collection that I’m doing for a show while trying to write my book […]
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